Expert matchmakers share their best tips on how to effectively resolve conflict with your partner
Relationships are beautiful and messy. When two people are in a relationship, almost all aspects of their lives get intertwined. Disagreements occur which can turn into fights and constant bickering if they are not handled properly. These disagreements can be over petty things such as choosing a place to eat or over life-altering decisions such as relocating due to one partner’s career etc.
No relationship is devoid of conflict, which means that conflict isn’t inherently bad. Successful handling of conflicts nurtures the relationship and establishes trust between both partners. Constructive resolution of the relationship allows both partners to understand each other’s feelings and thought processes.
On the other hand, a poorly-handled relationship can escalate and create bad blood between both partners. Unresolved feelings often form the first crack in an otherwise happy relationship. Let us take a look at some practical tips on how to effectively resolve conflict with your partner.
Normalize Open and Healthy Communication
- In order to avoid conflict sometimes people take an indirect approach to convey their feelings. They act passive-aggressively and address the partner in a condescending manner. Or they sulk and drop indirect hints instead of hitting the problem head-on. Such evasiveness results in a gradual buildup of unresolved feelings which then burst out all at once at an unfortunate moment.
The partner who is at the receiving end of this evasiveness remains clueless and cannot work towards resolving the issue. To avoid this situation, both partners should work towards engaging in open and healthy communication with each other. Communicating your needs and fears with your partner is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
Avoid the Snowball Effect
- When two partners do not communicate often, their feelings of hurt and neglect remain unresolved. Sometimes one partner can get triggered by a small thing and all unresolved issues come out at once. When resolving a conflict, it is important to pick your battles. Discuss one issue at a time and try to reach a solution that is acceptable to both.
Avoid the snowball effect wherein one complaint leads to another. Before you know it a small issue has transformed into a full-blown fight. In the heat of the moment, both partners will end up saying hurtful things. The snowball effect ruins all chances of actual conflict resolution. A full-blown fight dents the relationship and it is often difficult to recover from it. So use this to resolve conflict with your partner.
Remain Respectful During Heated Conversations
- Emotional management is a cumbersome task. Remaining calm and acting rationally is quite difficult when your emotions are running high. Most people lose track of the original argument and start to launch personal attacks when they are trying to resolve a conflict. This is a very dangerous situation which should be avoided at all costs.
Remember that insulting your partner, cursing or shouting will only make matters worse. Practice emotional management, stay respectful, and don’t cross a line when you are trying to resolve a conflict.
Avoid Outright Refusals
- When your partner complains to you or makes a difficult demand, your first instinct might be to outright refuse him/her. People can get defensive when criticized or confronted. But being defensive and failing to acknowledge the criticism or complaint only makes things worse.
If you wish to effectively solve a conflict with your partner, try to empathize with your partner’s feelings. Try to accommodate their demands. If that is not possible, then convey your refusal in a civilized and mellow manner. For e.g. if your wife demands you to participate in home-related chores, respond by saying I wish I could, but I am caught up with office work these days.
- Sweeten the argument by offering to help once you get free.
Now that we have covered the basics of how to resolve conflict with your partner, it is time to dish out some advice on how to find love. If you are residing in Central Virginia, we recommend you to consult Bloom Matchmaking. They offer matchmaking services and help people find love.