How to compliment on a first date

It’s no secret that first impressions are everything. A great way to demonstrate that you are interested and considerate is to give your date a thoughtful compliment. Easy enough, right? If you are really interested in this person, it shouldn’t be hard to think of a couple compliments. However, there is a thin line between being charming and being weird. Let’s go over some classic first date flubs when it comes to complimenting.

 

  • Dont overdo it. Like anything else, if you say something too much, it begins to lose its meaning. You want to be perceived as someone they’d like to date, not as a fan. Bombarding someone with flattery can give the impression that you are trying to get something out of them or win them over with endless compliments. Similarly, complimenting the same thing multiple times could make you seem fixated or creepy. Just sprinkle a few compliments in here and there, when appropriate.

 

  • Generic compliments about someones looks are boring, forgettable, and a big NO-NO. Not only do you want to stand out with a memorable compliment, you should also want your date to be actually touched by it. Rather than complimenting their beauty and physical appearance, point out something they clearly put effort into (e.g. their style, how their face lights up when they are discussing something they are passionate about, or how funny they are). Little things go a long way. Use words like unique, interesting, special, etc to describe them. People like to be recognized and valued for what makes them who they are.

 

  • If you dont mean it, dont say it. Laugh at their jokes, but don’t be insincere. No matter how good of an actor you are, most people can tell if you are being inauthentic. Even if they can’t, it doesn’t bode well for the future if you begin a relationship with dishonesty.
  • A compliment can be a great conversation starter! Relate to the compliment if you can; if you have a particular interest in common, you can express how impressed you are with their skills or extensive knowledge on the topic. If it’s an activity, you can mention wanting to do it together sometime. People love talking about themselves and their interests.

 

  • This one can be a little risky, but if the situation feels right, you can try lightly touching them on their arm, shoulder, hand, etc. when delivering your compliment. Be careful not to cross the charming/weird line. If you’re unsure, it’s best to err on the side of caution.

 

Think your compliment game might be a little rusty? We’d love to help you boost your confidence and teach you some great techniques for giving great compliments.

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